Self-deprecating humour is literally everywhere on the Internet. It’s funny, it’s relatable, and, possibly, even timeless. And, as a blogger, what better way to jump onto the bandwagon than poking some fun at an old blog post of mine?
Take a look at this piece that I (aged ten at the time) posted on my old blog:
Just a dream……
Cassie had just finished dinner on the first day of her summer holidays. She cuddled into bed after brushing her teeth and began wondering what she could do the next day. She didn’t need to listen to boring old histories of empires, kings and others, solve sums or learn grammar. The only part of school which she enjoyed was coming back home. She decided she would go to the basketball court the next day to play with her best friend, Bess. As Cassie thought about all this she started feeling sleepy. Just when she was going to fall asleep she heard a scraping noise outside her window. She thought of investigating what had disturbed her. She jumped outside the window and realized she was no longer in her frontyard but an old palace. In a big room, she saw a man being whipped so badly he had rashes on his skin. The man who was whipping was a fierce-looking muscular man. Beside him she saw an aged man wearing a robe and lots of jewels. He looked very cruel. She realized he was the king. Suddenly the king turned towards her and exclaimed ” Hey! This is a girl from the future. Quick, grab her!”. Cassie tried to run away but the fierce man grabbed her and started shaking her. She closed her eyes as she could not bear the pain. When she opened her eyes she was in bed. Her mother was shaking her hard and told ” Wake up, sleepy head. Bess is here”. Oh! So it was just a dream…..
There are a ton of things I want to address, so I guess I’ll start from the beginning.
I’d already broken a few (unwritten) rules of storytelling in the title – a) to not have a title that was too revealing and b) to not end a story with the anti-climatic ‘and it was all a dream’. And whatever were all those extra ellipses for?
Anyway, let’s move on to looking at the text as a whole. Or try to. I mean, just look at that humongous chunk of text! Where are your paragraphs, ten-year-old me?
“The only part of school which she enjoyed was coming back home.“
I don’t know if that ‘which’ sounds right there, but, ooh ooh, some humour!
“She decided she would go to the basketball court the next day to play with her best friend, Bess.“
A quick decision-maker, Cassie is.
“She thought of investigating what had disturbed her.“
A future detective, too, perhaps.
“She jumped outside the window…”
Tch, tch, tch. Look before you leap. Literally.
“Hey! This is a girl from the future. Quick, grab her!“
Woah. How’d he know so quick?
“So it was just a dream…..“
Just in case nobody figured things out from the title, here’s me clarifying things for you. And, again, what’s with the dramatic use of ellipses?
Okay, I think I’ll stop now. That’s enough self-deprecation for one day.
When did you write your first blog post? Let me know in the comments below!
The Chatter Cafe 
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